The invention relates to a technology for separating rare earth element by extraction system added with modifier, which comprises using potassium dihydrogen phosphate and its sulfo-derivative as the extractant, wherein the potassium dihydrogen phosphate or its sulfo-derivative is bis-(2-ethylhexyl)phosphate (P204), 2-ethylhexyl phosphonic acid mono-2-ethylhexyl ester (P507), bis(2, 4, 4-trimethylpentyl)phosphinic acid (Cyanex272), bis(2, 4, 4-trimethylpentyl) dithiophosphinic acid (cyanex301), bis(2, 4, 4-trimethylpentyl) monothiophosphinic acid (Cyanex302), using ROH as addition agent, R is C4-C10 alkyl, using alkane or aromatic hydrocarbon as thinning agent, forming 1.0-1.5M potassium dihydrogen phosphate - 5-30% ROH - alkane or aromatic hydrocarbon extraction architecture, using chlorinated or nitrated rare earth solution as feed liquid, using hydrochloric acid or nitric acid as inverse acid, determining single rare earth in raffinate or strip liquor through EDTA titration, and determining mixed rare earth through plasma atom emission spectrometric method.